|© Copyright 2020-2025 theselfesteemexpert.com All Rights Reserved.
|Specializing in Women's Issues
Counselor/Coach, Author, Lecturer
Empty Nest Syndrome
Family of Origin Issues
Rape, Sexual Abuse
Sexual Identity Issues
You will probably react to learning of the loss
with feeling numb. The shock provides emotional
protection from being overwhelmed all at once.
This may last days or weeks or in my case, it
lasted for five years.
This type of grief is probably one of the biggest,
most important stages that people go through
once they start processing through the stages
Examples of emotions during this stage of grief
are mourning, confusion, lack of clarity,
discomfort, listening but not hearing, going
through the motions. Everything feels a little off
and even when you try to shake it, it's still
there, the nothingness of everything.
When you lose someone you love, it’s hard to
imagine life without them. Loss, whether it's
losing a pet, or a friend through a move, a job,
the loss of a first love, or significant others, a
spouse or parents, it comes with pain and
adjustments we need to make.
You are not alone, most every one grieves at
some time or other in their lives. Everyone
grieves in their own time frame, and I think it's
most helpful to know the 7 Stages of Grief. They
were helpful to me when I needed to grieve. I
hope they help you too.
In this stage you may deny the
reality of the loss at some level,
in order to avoid the pain. Again,
denial provides a certain level of
emotional protection from being
overwhelmed all at once. This is
when you begin say such
statements as, "This is not
happening to me." or "How is
Once you come out of denial you will
experience anger, the reality that
yes it did happen. You may rail
against fate, questioning “Why me!”
"Why is this happening to me!" You
may lash out and lay unwarranted
blame for the death on someone
else. You may want to try to control
this, as permanent damage to your
relationships may result.
Then comes bargaining. In this
stage you may try to bargain in
vain with the powers that be for
a way out of your despair: "I
promise I will go to church." or "I
will do whatever you (higher
power) want me to do." or “I will
never drink again if you just bring
him/her back”! This is often a
time of frustration because as
much as you try to bargain, deep
inside you know that person is
Again, faced with reality that the
person is not coming back, you
may became very sad. Your
sadness may go on for days. You
don't want to get out of bed. You
don't want to go to work. You
don't want to take care of children
or yourself. Honestly, you don't
want to do any thing. This could go
on for weeks. Know that deep
sadness is not depression, it is
situationally deep sadness. It will
pass. Give it time.
Acceptance happens when you
can truly accept the death of that
person. At this point of grief, you
feel better and have a better
outlook on life. You want to get
out, see people, an get involved in
your life again. You will never
forget that person, but you are
ready to move on.
This is the last stage of grief. You
can now talk about the person without
breaking down. It is when you think
about the person you lost, see a
picture of the person, remember
the things you did together, and
now experience a deep joy for
having had that person in your life
and how they made you life better.
another stage may take weeks or even months to get through. But you
will get through it if you take each day at a time.
For grief counseling, Lee is always available. Go to contact us.